Attempting Adulting

This reflection discusses the pressures of adulting that I have begun to feel this summer.

This summer it has become extremely noticeable that there are many things that demand our personal attention. Not like that one friend who needs your complete attention at all times. Things like family, friends, work, personal time, and then that other group of friends and that organization you’re apart of or that other one you hold a leadership position in. In my case that is. All these things that compete for time and attention are important to me and my heart wants to be able to commit to each area so wholeheartedly. Time seems to prevent this though. There are so many things that vie for our attention and this summer it has almost overwhelmed me. It has made it clear why retreats are so nice for any person. I have been to feel a bit a peace about the tensions that have arose though my constantly being self-aware.

As I continuously notice that these pressures exists, it also become clear that these are just the beginnings of my pressures to feel. I am in college so now I have a family, friends, school work, a part time job, a boyfriend, and a slew of organizations. However these all will be heightened as I continue to grow and eventually graduate. Family will be harder to get together with, friends will become more complicated to schedule with and they will also become more and more like family the more I get to know them. A part time job becomes a full time job which requires as much if not more learning than school work now. And a boyfriend becomes a husband one day and that requires a new level of commitment to learn and get to know a person better than anyone before. Point is not that I’m anxious about all the pressures coming towards me but I am more just drawing the awareness to myself that I will most likely feel those if I am already feeling some pressures.

Something I have noticed is that I don’t yet have a problem solving framework for this ongoing and growing “problem”. I hate calling it that but there is something in me that when deciding between what to spend my time doing I feel this tension. Maybe it is just a way to handle making those decisions. Who and what do I want to spend my time doing. One of those things could be spending time regularly reflecting on what and who is most important to me. I know that people are important to me, so focusing on the who is going to be my main focus when asking myself questions about these tensions. Time is limited and we always hear that but we do have a lot of time in our day and it would be nice to have a narrowed focus on what I want that to be and what difference and purpose each of the things I decide means for me.

#CommLabSummerReflections